best-of-funny:

zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

X

best-of-funny:

necklace-of-rope:

so, today this girl in my class asked what the word procrastination meant and i said ‘can i explain that later?’ and my teacher laughed for like five minutes and when he stopped the girl whispered ’ i don’t get it’

X

best-of-funny:

itsbetterthananal:

my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life

X

best-of-funny:

nuditea:

if you just walked into a club and the floor was super slippery and people had strapped knives to their feet and were jumping around you’d be like “holy shit, i don’t know if this is the environment for me” and yet skating is a thing

X

sodamnrelatable:

rneerkat:

musical-dreaming:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

if a girl poisons you with japanese food what should you do 

sue she

Actually I believe the correct grammar is “Sue her.”
“She” is a subject pronoun, so “her” is needed for the objective part of the sentence.